The Real Meanings of Philosophical Terms
1. Discourse : Talky talky
2. Hermeneutics : What I mean
3. Logic : Why I’m right
4. Apologetics : Why you’re wrong
5. Fallacy : Why you don’t even know you’re wrong
6. Epistemology : How I know I’m right and you’re wrong
7. Existential : Don’t feel bad: everyone is wrong
8. Post-modern : Who cares if I’m right or wrong
9. Systemic : Your wrongness goes deep
10. Neo- : You’re as wrong as those old guys
11. Crypto- : I’m the only one who knows your wrongness
12. Paradoxical : It only looks like I’m wrong
13. Hyper- : You’d be right if you could learn to state things paradoxically
14. Grand meta-narrative : He thinks he’s right about everything
15. Paleo- : You’re as wrong as that new-fangled stuff
16. phenomenal : I only seem wrong
17. transcendental : If anyone’s right, I must be
18. false consciousness : Deep down you know I’m right
19. subjugated/subaltern : They’re right, but everyone says they’re wrong
20. bourgeois : They pay good money to be right
21. proletariat : We’re wrong now, but wait for the revolution!
22. deconstruction : w/ri(gh)t(e)
23. Platonism : I know the very Form of rightness
24. Thomism : 1. It would appear that you are right.
25. Categorical imperative : If you’re right, let’s make it a universal law
26. Problematize : I’ll show you how wrong you really are
27. Cartesianism : cogito ergo rectitudo
28. ontological argument : I am so right that none greater can be conceived
29. epiphenomenon : This sentence is neither right nor wrong, as it is the product of a chemical reaction.
30. post- : Now we’re finally right
31. eclectic : You are wrong in a lot of different ways
32. synthesis : You are so wrong that you are right
33. exegesis (cf. hermeneutics) : I know what it means and I can discourse all day about it
34. presuppositional : I’m right and I won’t even discuss it with you
35. -istic : You started with something good and made it really stupid
36. dialectic : I’m right, but then again, I may be wrong
37. weltanschauung : How you see the world when your brain has been made into mush by German philosophy
38. deconstruction : If I grind you up I can show that even your molecules are wrong
39. bayesian : I’ll give you even money that I’m right
40. teleological : You’ve got everything backwards
41. a priori : We’ll just assume that I am right
42. a posteriori : Having seen who won, I can assure you I was on that side all the time
via blippitt